New Chapter [BLOG]

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I quit my job.
Just last week.
Not because I hated it and was sick of it.
In fact, I LOVED what I did.
I was living and breathing marketing for a yoga clothing company.
It couldn't have been more "me."
Except there was a problem…
Since I started in the "work world" 4 years ago,
I've never understood it.
You go to work, work hard all day, and come home exhausted.
Too tired to spend time with family, friends, too tired to workout.
Maybe it's just me, but I'm not cool with the seasons passing me by.
How has it been 4 years since college?
I read somewhere that time seems to go faster as we age because we don't see things as a novelty, like kids do.
We know what to expect.
Our lives are predictable.
We put ourselves in a box and function in it until it's filled with money and we're 20 years from dying of old age.
Then we stop, and try to live life to its fullest.
When our bodies are frail.
When we're old and senile.
When we've done everything society expected us to: job, marriage, house, kids.
In that order.
I call bullshit.
I'd miss out on observing the weather.
I'd miss the details that make up the day to day.
Instead, I stared at a computer for 8 hours
With bad posture
And sometimes, a resentful attitude.
No matter how much I loved what I was doing.
I wanted my weekends to be longer.
Like clockwork, I'd end Sunday with an ache in my stomach and tears in my eyes,
Not understanding why I had to stop spending time with those I love just to go to work the next day.

So I started paying attention to the actions and words of others.
Surely I couldn't be the only one… right?
Wrong.
Most everyone I questioned was content,
I wouldn't say over-the-moon happy, but they didn't yearn for a different way.
This was it for them.
And that lit me up.
Quite literally, I wondered WTF is the point of life if you can't nurture love?
If you can't nurture yourself with healthy habits.
If you can't nurture your partner with love, patience and quality time.
If you can't say YES to adventures that take up more than 2 weeks of vacation time.
If you can't nurture your relationship with your family because you can't squeeze them in during the four hours you have to spare after work and before bed.

So here I am.
Stepping into LOVE.
Stepping away from FEAR.
Do I still feel it; fear?
Yes.
There's plenty to fear.
So what keeps me going toward fear?
Knowing that there's so much I could gain.
Knowing that I don't have to live in perpetual suffering, thinking I'm an outsider.
I did it.
I leaped.
I enrolled in school at the Nutritional Therapy Association and I'm going to be a holistic nutritionist.
I am a yoga instructor.
I am a healer.
I am love.
And there is no way I cannot take this leap.
I've got to see the world through my bright eyes.
To learn what I'm capable of.
To live wholeheartedly.
To care.
It's time to create.
It's time to step into vulnerability.
It's time to create a story so I can believe again.
So my future kids will believe.
So I can live life from the heart.
Because I am love.
You are love.
We are love.
The adventure continues.